Wednesday, February 08, 2006

breaking down the walls

We are now in our 4th week. It's interim time already. As usual in every beginning quarter, my grades are crazy. People have either 100's or 40's. It's too soon to grade things, in my humble opinion.
I have a new student from the 7th ward and it soothes me to be around her. I feel like an alien in my classes except around people like her. I guess it's obvious that I'm still in the throes of intensely being a New Orleanian and that we have that shared experience makes me feel at home with them.
The trash is still on the ground here. Houses are still unlit and melting. Nature is taking back what was originally hers. The impulse that I had since the storm to come back, just so my house could be lived in, that by sheer force of will and also my heat and heartbeat I could keep the walls up, is the thing that's missing in the rest of the city that is languoring. There's little life. I am fast losing my optimism. And I'm disheartened. I had a dream yesterday that I was in a place where the walls were weakened and I leaned against one and it came down and wild animals teemed in. The first animal was a horse.
Today two classes complained that we haven't been writing enough. So I let them. In one class, freshmen, when the 10 minutes was up, I announced it and a boy said, "crap." I told him to keep on writing, and he did, as did over half the class (I looked) for another two minutes. It was beautiful. I wonder if the thing I do for them in the end is simply this, that I help them over their fear of the pen and the blank page, and over the fear that they have nothing to say.
Now I have a TEST to write. Hahaha! No, but really...


Anonymous Anonymous said...

You do far more than that, though what you've got's a start. I'm glad.


11:23 PM  

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